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How to Spice Up the Romance in Your Relationship
By Beverly Mahone
Year after year, I hear my middle-aged girlfriends complain about how
the spark has gone out of their relationships with the "man of their
dreams." They tell me he isn't attentive anymore or he works long hours
and then comes home too tired or they even suspect there might be a
little "foul play" going on with another woman--and a YOUNGER one at
that.
Do you know why some older men are sexually attractive to younger women?
Because they are adventurous! They have an experimental attitude and
don't mind doing what it takes to please their partner.
We were once like that, remembering? Well, maybe I should just speak for
myself but I recall the days when I couldn't get enough pleasure from my
man and he was more than willing to oblige. Has growing older made us
become prudish all of a sudden or did we not realize the man we married
had an over-active sex drive?
Just because we age doesn't mean the romantic flames have to die does
it? The first thing you must ask yourself, honestly, is what did you do
to kill the romance if it's gone? If you can honestly say it's not your
fault then you need to do a reality check on exactly why you chose the
person you're with and if it wasn't for romance, then you shouldn't be
complaining at this stage of the game. Sadly, some of us did take a walk
down the aisle for the wrong reasons like love of money or because we
felt the need to be married by a certain age.
On the other hand, if you have vowed to remain faithful and loving until
death do you part then allow me to offer some tips to help keep that
romance and magic alive.
1) Come up with a secret word or a secret phrase between the two of you
and decide that every time you say the word, you will share a passionate
kiss or other form of physical intimacy. The word might be one that
holds a special meaning for the two of you or maybe choose a word that
is just plain sexy.
2) Turn your dinner into a romantic dining experience. They say the way
to a man’s heart is through his stomach so why not set the mood with
some romantic foods. Did you know asparagus is a great source of
potassium, fiber, vitamin B6, vitamins A and C, and thiamin and folic
acid? The latter is said to boost histamine production necessary for the
ability to reach orgasm in both sexes. Oysters are the classic
aphrodisiac. Raw oysters are very high in zinc which is known to raise
sperm and testosterone production and increase libido. Set the ambience
with some fresh cut flowers and then dim the lights, light some candles,
and enjoy a bottle of your favorite wine.
3) Get in the mood with some nice, soothing music. Get up close and
personal by dancing cheek-to-cheek with your bodies touching ever so
closely? You don’t have to go out for a night on the town to do this.
Put on some Luther Vandross or Barry White and let the romance begin—in
the kitchen, living room or bedroom. Dancing helps to keep romance alive
and it is fun and a way for couples to positively connect with one
another.
Touch and kiss each other at every opportunity and this includes those
non-sexual moments. Kissing and touching isn’t always about foreplay
before sex takes place. And make those kisses passionate! Pecks on the
cheek are for children and not for mature lovers.
4) Try reading sexy literature to each other in bed or when you are
cuddled up together on the couch. Take turns being the narrator and if
asked to re-read a particularly erotic scene, do so with a little
re-enactment. Role playing can be very enticing and a lot of fun! Women,
in particular, enjoy the sound of their lover's voice as he reads steamy
fiction to her in a romantic setting.
I, personally, love it when my husband writes me a romantic letter
because I know it came straight from his heart.
5) Most importantly, don't be afraid to communicate your desires and try
to be as open-minded as you were back then. But don't be afraid to let
him know what you don't like. He shouldn't be offended if he wants to
please you.
Make this spring and summer your time for fun, fantasy and fulfillment!
You may discover, just as I have, that he makes you hotter than a hot
flash!
Beverly Mahone is an author
and motivational speaker who writes about issues affecting baby boomer
women in her book Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age.
The baby boomer expert has appeared on MSNBC-TV and various radio talk
programs across the country. To schedule an interview or to have her
speak to your group, contact Ms. Mahone at
bmahone@nc.rr.com or visit
her website at:
www.thebabyboomerdiva.com
Copyright © 2007 by Beverly Mahone
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