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PREPARE TO MEET ROMANCE

By Kathy Dawson

The end may justify the means as long as there is something that justifies the end.
                                                                                                               Leon Trotsky

Romance can be spontaneous. The quickly lighted flame of a candle. The push of a stereo button for mood music. An effortless turn of an electric dimmer switch. For anyone who is short on time, and that is most of us nowadays, a romantic atmosphere can be created with minimal effort.

For those of us who want to savor the process of romance, who want to enjoy the planning stages, romance can be as much a means to an end as it is a final product.

I have orchestrated many a romantic escapade in my marriage. The memories I’ve made while organizing each one mean as much to me as the memories I’ve made enjoying the fruits of my preparatory labor.

One of my favorite romantic memories is when I planned a red Valentine’s Day lunch for my husband. Red being the signature color for romance, I decided to use it to the hilt.

From start to finish, it took me a week to plan for our “red letter” day. Everyday for the week prior to Valentine’s Day I left a note in my husband’s lunch that had the word “red” in it. By the time I invited him home for lunch on Valentine’s Day, he felt flushed, red in the face with anticipation.

Instead of serving lunch in an expected place such as the kitchen or dining room, I decided to serve it on our hope chest in the bedroom. I purchased red lace fabric for the tablecloth, used red napkins, and bought red sheets and pillowcases for our bed.

I was so determined to stay true to the red motif that everything I made for lunch was red. I boiled pasta in water that was tinted with red food coloring and topped it with red sauce. I made tomato soup and baked red bread. I even made a red key lime pie for dessert.

Knowing that romance for men usually includes a taste of sexuality, I dressed myself in a red corset, garter belt and hose, and played the song “Lady In Red” as he entered our bedroom.

Our afternoon was glorious and one I will never forget, however, I enjoyed the week of planning and scheming as much as the final production. One of the memorable moments from that week happened the morning of the illustrious lunch. Wanting to be super organized about my Valentine’s Day presentation, I laid everything out on our kitchen table before I put my props in place. Displayed on the table were red candles, the red tablecloth, and a few sundry sexy goodies such as pasta in the shape of women’s breasts and red fur handcuffs.

Within seconds of surveying my lunchtime props, the doorbell rang. At the door stood the man who delivers replacement bottles for our spring water cooler located in our kitchen. As the delivery man replaced our water, I was mortified as I stared at the sexual paraphernalia sprawled across our kitchen table. Before I had a chance to lay across the table or quickly scoop up the items, he perused the display, looked at me, smiled like a Cheshire cat, and said, “Have a nice day!”

Although we now enjoy spring water from an entirely different water supply company, that embarrassing moment was part of what made my homemade romantic memory so memorable.

Certainly, if time is at a premium, instant romance is a better option than doing nothing at all, but once in awhile treat yourself to the fun of the strategic romantic experience. Planning the execution of a romantic fantasy is a thrill you won’t want to miss.

Just Do It: Set a date on your calendar between today and the next eight weeks to plan a romantic fantasy for your mate. Be sure that the preparations take at least a few days in order for you to feel a sense of anticipation. When the unveiling of romance arrives, you’ll benefit from the means as well as the end.
 

As an experienced Relationship Coach and Speaker, Kathy has impacted thousands of lives through her national and local television and radio appearances, as well as her books and speaking engagements. Her first book, Diagnosis: Married – How to Deal with Marital Conflict, Heal Your Relationship, and Create a Rewarding and Fulfilling Marriage (Penguin Putnam/Perigee, 2000) was nominated for a Books for a Better Life award. Kathy’s second book, Cleveland Couples – 40 Inspiring Stories of Love & Commitment (Gray & Company, Publishers) was published in 2004. As well as books, Kathy has written a weekly relationship column called Side By Side for Cleveland’s Plain Dealer. Kathy is a guest expert on ivillage.com and has been featured in such national magazines as Family Circle and Women’s World. Kathy’s website is www.kathythecoach.com. 
 

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